well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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