"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
