is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
