I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
