question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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