I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just gift wrapped bread.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Randomize
