I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
