Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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