Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
