As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She announced her abortion via fbk
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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