Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize