I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
