I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I don't think brook has ever known best
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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