Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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