I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
