The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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