but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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