last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Randomize
