She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize