Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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