i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize