so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
