Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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