I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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