did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
