so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
