we have officially lost it.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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