I'm sorry my penis didn't work
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Randomize
