If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
