I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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