brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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