is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
