you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
