I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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