I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
