Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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