I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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