i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
