So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
