after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
