The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
