i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
