I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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