Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
