It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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