Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
