Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
