I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize