At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
