yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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