There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
