Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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