just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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