Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
