he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
