i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
