We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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