It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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