Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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