I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
