Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
