Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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