**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
