Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize