please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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