i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
