When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
